I found this on a print-out in a gutter. Subsequent conversations have verified its authenticity.
Dear (name withheld)
I'm writing to you today, because I know that you are a true Conservative.
This might be the most important letter that I have written to you, so please read it entirely.
During the past few years, we have made Calgary West a bastion of Conservatism. Together, we have defeated strong Liberal challengers and lent support to successful Conservative candidates across the country.
But now we are facing a new challenge.
I need you to come to the Bowness Sportsplex on Saturday May 8 at 1:00 pm, so that you can participate in the Annual General Meeting with Guest Speaker Ezra Levant.
During the past year, a group of dedicated liberals purchased memberships in the Conservative party. Their goal is to take over our local Board of Directors, so that they can nominate a closet liberal.
After the last election, Jennifer Pollock (the defeated Liberal candidate), urged her supporters to buy memberships in the Conservative party, in order to create a "rainbow coalition".
Their goal is to take over our local board of directors, so that they can nominate a closet liberal to run under the Conservative banner in the next election.
We cannot let this happen.
On Saturday, May 8, I need you to come to the Bowness Sportsplex and vote for a board of directors who are true Conservatives.
Registration begins at 1:00. Upon registration, you will be given a Slate with a picture of myself with Prime Minister Harper. Beneath this picture, will be a list of the 30 true Conservatives who are running for the Board of Directors. Make sure to vote for all 30 candidates.
Where: Bowness Sportsplex - 7809 - 43 Ave NW.
When: Saturday, May 8.
Time: 1:00 - 3:00 pm.
* Make sure to bring a piece of Photo ID, such as a drivers license.
If you have any further questions, please call 403-370-5811
Rob Anders, MP Calgary West.
Where to begin?
I guess we could start with "Beneath this picture, will be a list of the 30 true Conservatives who are running for the Board of Directors."
Awesome... so, Rob Anders is the arbiter of what constitutes a "true Conservative"? Anyone who wants to run for the Board of Directors for the CPC's Calgary West EDA who didn't approach the Don and make an offering at the altar of Reagan first has already had their Conservative bona fides stripped by Anders. If you're not on his list, you're not a true Conservative. How nice. Does he at least give you a fake Pinocchio nose as a parting gift?
Then of course, there are his 2 references to a "closet liberal" challenger to his nomination.
That closet liberal?
Donna Kennedy-Glans, who has been in the business of defeating the federal Liberals since 1981, when Rob Anders was 8 years old. A dyed-in-the-wool Progressive Conservative Party of Canada member from the days when the entire point was to crush the "Trudeau menace".
How very liberal of her - opposing Trudeau, supporting one of the parental parties that joined to form the Conservative Party of Canada and trying to crush the federal Liberal party for all those years.
All she's missing, clearly, is a red scarf and a dog named after a failed environmental treaty.
I'm not going to go on and on about Rob, because I'm pretty sure most of you who didn't already know my thoughts on Anders will probably have guessed them by now. I'll just leave you with this:
This "the only true believer is the one who agrees with everything I say" mentality isn't worthy of a party that lays claim to the legacy of the big tent Canadian conservative movement over the past hundred and forty years. It's a slippery slope from "the only true Conservative is the one who supports me!" to "the only true Canadian is one who believes what I say" and "the only true citizen is an Aryan one" (that last example might be from a different context - but it's the same slope).
In a world that is becoming increasingly co-operative and nuanced - do we really want to see Rob Anders' vision of what constitutes a "true Conservative" validated?
Your call, CPC members in Calgary West. Show up, vote, and live with the results.
The rest of us will be watching.