Friday, January 25, 2008

ROBBED!

For Immediate Release
Stardate 0080125.11

CANADIAN BLOG AWARDS FIRST-ROUND VOTING RESULTS AN INSULT TO COMMON SENSE

(Calgary, AB) Local uber-pundit and universally lauded Citizen Journalist "The Enlightened Savage" is decrying the failure of the democratic process in the recent first-round voting for the Canadian Blog Awards.

"This shows a blatant disregard on the part of Saskboy and other green-clad, banjo-picking elites for the rule of law, the democratic process and common sense!" shouted The Enlightened One, utilising exclamation points in his press release despite all media protocol and over a hundred years of precedent to show just how much he means business - just like a notable independent candidate for the provincial seat of Calgary Egmont.

"I mean, sure I didn't get as many votes as the other candidates in the categories for which I was nominated - but that just goes to show the notorious liberal bias of both the blogosphere, and of reality in general! Had I been allowed to set up an office where I could bus my supporters to, and have them vote - with the assistance of my staff, not supervision - from our campaign computers, we would surely have won, as nature and God Herself intended... but that darn 'one IP address, one vote' policy sunk us."

The Enlightened Savage, or "The Sensei of Smack", as his followers have dubbed him, had been nominated in the categories of Best New Blog, Best Political Blog, and Best Blog.

"I guess it's possible that people genuinely voted for the blogs that they felt were the best." conceded the magnanimous blogger with buns of steel. "However, many of those same people made Britney Spears a multi-platinum selling singer, so what do they know anyhow? Time will prove me right..."

The voting for the second round of the Canadian Blog Awards has begun, and will continue until January 30th, 2008. FOES (Friends Of the Enlightened Savage) still in the running include daveberta (Best Blog, Best Blogosphere Citizen, Best Political Blog, and Best Progressive Blog), and Calgary Grit (Best Political Blog, Best Progressive Blog). The Enlightened Savage, in the spirit of bipartisan cooperation and unity that will surely result in his canonization as a Saint in his lifetime, is throwing his considerable support and the support of his millions of slavishly-devoted citizens of "E.S. Nation" behind the 2 FOES.

"It's cute that they let daveberta and Calgary Grit call themselves 'progressive', and I think that we should get behind these 2 unrepentant lefties and let them experience what it's like to win an election - it'll be a long time before either of them feels that way again" said the Poobah of the Paragraph, adding "I'll be rooting for them this time, but you'd better believe I'll be expecting their full endorsement in next year's voting".

The Enlightened Savage, Lord and Master of the Dangling Participle, is available for comment at amishbuggyracing (at) gmail.com

[remove tongue from cheek]

Congratulations to daveberta and Calgary Grit for moving on to the Finals, and many thanks to everyone involved in the CBA's - but especially Saskboy - for the incredible amount of work they're putting in, for very little thanks. It was truly an honour to be nominated, and the highlight of my blogging career thus far. Bravo!

3 comments:

Saskboy said...

NBCDipper has really been instrumental in getting the voting underway this month, and soon we have some new artwork to release from a recent volunteer. Stay tuned.
Darn liberal bias...

Allie said...

Very cute :)

daveberta said...

Ha. Thanks, ES. I can't believe I missed this post. Funny, guy. I guess we'll see how the results look when they are released...