Sunday, April 1, 2012

Hamilton Bows Down To Special Interests in Calgary-Elbow

Nation, I've never made a big secret of my distaste for the way that well-funded special interests can buy their way into the democratic process.

Sure enough, not even the EverGreen campaign of William Hamilton in Calgary-Elbow is immune to the siren call of big-money special interests. I imagine it's no surprise that the radical environmental group from whom Hamilton has drawn his new Campaign Manager is targeting Elbow, the home riding of PC Leader Alison Redford.

For shame, William. I thought you were better than that. Hamilton's press release is below.



Calgary-Elbow EverGreen candidate praises Treebeard's "deep roots" in EverGreen movement

CALGARY, 01 April 2012 -- After a careful and exhaustive selection process, William Hamilton has appointed the ideal campaign manager for his EverGreen campaign in Calgary-Elbow -- an Ent.

"Perhaps no position in an electoral campaign is as important to supporting a candidate as the position of campaign manager," said William Hamilton, the EverGreen Party of Calgary-Elbow, of Treebeard.  "Really, I'm surprised that no-one else running for office in Alberta has gotten around to hiring someone of Treebeard's stature and prominence in the Ent community to run their campaign.  In fact, given Treebeard's record of conservation and forest stewardship, out of anyone who has become a member of the EverGreens, he has -- if you'll forgive my saying it -- the deepest roots in the movement."

"Let me re-affirm, as concisely as it is in my power to render such an important and critical statement, how profoundly and remarkably pleasing it is to be able to offer my experience, my wisdom, and my keen and finely-honed understanding of the interconnectivity of our forests and our society to the William Hamilton EverGreen campaign for Calgary-Elbow," added Treebeard.  "For the first time in my perambulatory sojourns through the wilderness arising from the passing of Middle Earth, I have been granted the indescribably pleasant opportunity to contribute a level of understanding to the political process in Alberta to a campaign and a candidate that well and truly appreciate the majesty of nature in their daily peregrinations.  Orcs have never demonstrated this capacity in all of the millennia in which I have encountered them, and I only accepted this categorically crucial role in the William Hamilton EverGreen campaign for Calgary-Elbow after coming to the careful, definite, and defensible conclusion that he was not, in fact, an Orc."

"Orc behaviour is inconsistent with EverGreen values, anyway," added Hamilton. Lest concerned observers forget, the dateline of this release and the first letter of each sentence both have a bearing on the content.

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